Ya know what's great about having a teenager

[DSWaltenburg]

with a mental disorder? Pretty much nothing. But I digress. Here's a word of advice should you ever encounter this particular type of beast in your daily comings and goings:

If you don't let them have their way 24/7/365/12.....be prepared to have notebooks flung at your cranium, and to be asked this, the ultimate in rhetorical questionings-"What crawled up your ass and died?"


Brings new meaning to the term "Happy Go Lucky".


Oh the joys of adolescence and mental disorders.

That is all :)

[MediaMaven]

Don't all teenagers suffer from mental disorder? But seriously, that sounds rough. I have a pre-teen that was pronounced to be borderline aspergers or ADD earlier in her life. Though things are easier-ish now, we're always worried she'll veer off track. No flinging notebooks or nasty remarks yet, but we do get a lot of "looks", eye-rolling, and general attitude.

Also, I hope you have help. It makes all the difference in the world!

[Lor]

This is kinda sad Deborah. The question I ask is general. Why is this behavior and other disorders like ADD so prevalant today? As a child of the 60's, I don't remember any of my fellow students or neighbour's kids with ADD symptoms and we wouldn't dare talk to our parents that way. But today, it seems to be almost the norm. Is it too much take-away? Too many preservatives in our foods? Something in the water?

This isn't on, Deborah. I'm sure you've had oodles of sit-down talks with your child, but you are the mother and as the parent you command respect. You shouldn't have to walk on egg shells around your child. You know that and I'm sure you're seeking help for your family. I can't fathom it, not being in your shoes. It's hard to know what to say, but "There, there."

Lorraine

[DSWaltenburg]

I think my daughter has long since passed the point of ADD.....she's moving on towards a total leaning towards the antisocial/sociopathic realm of mental disorders. Yip Pee. Of course back when we were young (errrrrrrr), they had yet to diagnose or 'create' diseases which mirrored the inability to sit still, behave, and do well in school. They just chalked everything up to truancy and being a hoodlum.

As for my daughter, there is no respect, for anyone. Period. It's not a matter of commanding it. It's kind of hard to garner any kind of respect from a being that has no remorse and a very low level of conscience, and an even more nonexistent relationship with personal responsibility.

I'm left to assume that the genetics got out of whack somewhere, as I have a son that graduated Cum Laude, has a near full ride for college, and is getting 93's and 109's on college tests. He's rarely disrespected me, and for the most part, when he was at home, was usually (fruitlessly) attempting to get her to realize how truly messed up her attitude and disrespect are.

She's been hospitalized, manipulated her way out of there with a PTSD diagnosis, has run away, been suspended twice already this year from school, and is pulling 2 F's, 2 D's, 2 C's, and a B in Art. She cuts herself, she has admitting to trying marijuana on the last day of school last year (during their open lunch), and the list it goes on and on. Yeah.....

So, no there's really no help from 'professionals' who assume that since I don't walk around with a phD behind my name that I can't possibly be able to read and study and notice signs of specific disorders. Gasp. A normal person with knowledge of the psychological realm? Bah.

Thanks for the There There :) Just another day in the Fun House we call Waltenburg.

[Lor]

She's sounds depressed on top of everything. Poor girl. She must be so confused. Hope you can find a way for all your sakes.

Lorraine

[DSWaltenburg]

To Media Maven: When the notebooks start to fly, you just have to perfect your reflex and reaction skillz! We don't get rolling eyes here, we just get the look of death. It's fun.

To Lor: No offense, but depression is not one of her issues. Not even close. The things she does, she does for managing and manipulating attention. I could go on and on with examples, but suffice it to say, she does her research, she reads, and then she takes on whatever she's reading or read, until she figures out it won't work, then she moves on. Depression, by far, would be way easier to deal with than the current state of affairs! :(

Sorry I started a bitchnmoanfest....just one of those more taxing days. But hey, thanks for all the input!

[Lor]

No offense taken. :) Heh, she's your kid. I think the cutting made me think that -- all about a need for attention.
Anyway, you've been through the ringer, so I'll just add another "There. There." So sorry.
And btw, we all need a good bitch and moan sometimes. Have at it.

Lor

[Celeste Stewart]

Since school started in August, my 7-year-old turned into a monster with full blown temper tantrums, sassiness, and a refusal to do homework. I actually ordered a set of CDs after seeing a commercial on TV (Total Transformation). While the program is not for kids with mental problems, there's a lot of good information for parents. It teaches you how to get back in control. They also have a hotline for advice 24/7. I haven't had to call it because she hasn't had a meltdown since we started last week (amazing because they were daily). Anyhow, the program might be worth looking at even though your daughter apparently has mental issues. It's more for parents to learn how to deal with the behaviors.

I've already learned a few new techniques for stopping the temper tantrums and preventing future ones - and I'm just on the first week. So far, it seems like it will be well worth the money. I also enrolled her in Kung Fu class which has given her an outlet for her aggression as well as something to work for. The combination of finally settling into a school routine, Kung Fu, and a few new parenting techniques has put our family back on track.

Also, my husband's step-family is filled with mentally ill kids. Out of his ten step-siblings, only about three are sane. The others have various mental disorders. As a result, they are either homeless, in group homes, or locked up. Most were "normal" until adulthood when they snapped. The three sane ones are normal, caring people. Whether these mental problems are due to environment or heredity is debateable. I think it's a blend of both. Fortunately, this gene isn't flowing through my daughter's blood so that's good. But still, I firmly believe I have to do something now before her behavior gets any worse.

Anyhow, your situation sounds completely miserable. I hope you can find a solution somewhere, somehow. For your sake and your daughters.

[MediaMaven]

Wow, that sounds like Oppositional Defiant Disorder or full-blown Conduct Disorder. You've been unable to get an actual diagnoses?

I know what it's like when no doctor can tell you definitively what is wrong, no doctor can find the right drugs or the right dosage. I've been in situations that even the cops can't help me - try asking them what to do with a kid that will throw a temper tantrum in the car and try to open the door and jump out while you're driving down a highway!

I wish you all the strength and patience in the world.

[DSWaltenburg]

Celeste,

I'm glad you've found something that is working with your daughter. I'll look into that program. Our problems of late, really didn't come into fruition until the past year or so. Before that, it was just total ADD. We discontinued her Adderall last year when my husband switched jobs, and left us without insurance. This year she was on Lexapro for a few months, which seemed to heighten her disassociation with reality. Not a good experience.

Maven,

I've read up on all the assorted disorders that can mimic or even co-exist with the ADD, and she fits in bits and pieces with several of them, however, when I started reading about sociopathy, the answer was yes to every single checkpoint on the evaluation list. I think that's been one of the most depressing days of my life, to think that she would be stuck with that type of disorder is so very disheartening.

I think I'm about to let her therapist have it tomorrow at her appointment. They really sincerely need to shite or get off the psychobabbly pot. I know what you mean about the authorities being useless. They won't step in until she has actually hurt herself or someone else. She's used up her one chance as far as violence goes, so if she ever attacks anyone again, she will definitely be under the care of the authorities. She's under the mistaken belief that going to a detention center will be as bright and bubbly as being hospitalized was.....and I don't want her to have to find out the hard way what the reality REALLY is. She's tried to stab her brother with a very long bread cutting knife, attacked me (not the same incidents), ran away, tried to self medicate by taking 4x the normal amount of her meds, which I now have to keep locked up, and has called the sheriff to ask them to come get her because she felt we were being mean to her by taking away lighters, cigarettes and anime porn. Sheriff did nothing but to tell her to go to bed and settle down.

Everyday is a new experience :)