THOUGHTS FOR 2005:/mildy adult
Number 10 -
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 -
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 -
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich!
Number 7 -
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 -
Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Number 5 -
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 -
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 -
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 -
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2005:
We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
"LJ"