Punctuation, Wording Question

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JoyRCalderwood
Posts: 123
Joined: Fri May 28, 2010 9:13 pm

Punctuation, Wording Question

Post by JoyRCalderwood »

Doing a re-write for a client of their copy. I don't like the title, but I don't want to offend her. In question is the term "cared for" where I'm wondering about a hyphen or as is? Also, isn't using "First of all" passe? I would remove it. (and would take out the comma before which). Thanks for your feedback.


HERE IS HER COPY:

TITLE
Cleaning, Caring for and Storing Your Silk Scarf

First of all Congratulations! You are the owner of an exquisite, luxurious fashion accessory, which you will be able to enjoy for years to come if it is properly cared for and stored.
Lysis
Posts: 1529
Joined: Sun Jun 07, 2009 2:08 pm
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Re: Punctuation, Wording Question

Post by Lysis »

I would just make the suggestion and not change it. People can be weird about criticism and their work. I think making a suggestion like "Hey, I think maybe you should change it to x. Just a suggestion." is kinda not criticizing her but doing your job and making the suggestion.

I get a lot of clients that I don't agree with their edit requests at all but meh I just do them. Sometimes, they are just being petty and weird but I figure they are paying me to stfu. lol SO I do.
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