Summary:
Thorough suggestions and advice for women in the clergy on maintaining a happy marriage (with or without children) as well as a successful congregation. Includes key points of discussion with a partner about aspects like time management, ministry emergencies, division of domestic duties, and the "first gentleman" situation.

Details or Sample:
Anyone who has gotten married knows it isn’t always the smoothest of roads. For that matter, neither is serving in a position of religious authority - especially as a woman with the double responsibility of maintaining a happy, healthy family. Luckily, combining the two doesn’t have to be as complicated or draining as it sounds.

Above all else, communication with your husband is essential. No matter the circumstances of the marriage – whether it occurs before, during, or after you accept a position in the clergy – make sure your significant other thoroughly understands the demands that will be placed not only on you, but on him too as a result. These include time constraints. Your husband may be used to having you around much more than your new schedule permits. On top of that, members of your congregation may expect you to take on the responsibilities of a clergy wife in addition to that of a leader, such as cooking or teaching Sunday school.

As if these new demands weren’t enough, you must also consider the on-call aspect of the job – when a member of your congregation needs you, the timing is often highly inconvenient. Explain to your mate the unpredictable aspects of a career in the ministry, and decide between the two of you beforehand how to cope with the difficult situations this may elicit. Does your husband have the job flexibility to leave in the middle of the workday and take care of the kids if you are somehow needed? If not, do you know a reliable neighbor, friend, or babysitter who can function as a temporary caretaker in such a situation?

With or without children, you and your significant other will have to devise a new plan to divide domestic duties. Your husband must understand that . . .

Another less obvious point to take into consideration is your husband’s feelings about his role in the family. As stereotypical as it may sound, your husband may feel that his status as primary breadwinner for the household is compromised by your new position of authority, even if you also worked fulltime before entering the clergy. He may feel emasculated by assuming more household duties than he is accustomed to. Treat the matter delicately, but . . .

Depending on the dynamics of your relationship before the clergy came into the picture, you two may also have to restructure the decision-making process a bit . . .

A final “must” topic for discussion is the trials and tribulations associated with being a “first gentleman” – in other words, the male version of a clergy wife. Many members of the congregation doubtless will be a little perplexed as to how they should treat your husband in his new role . . .

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Written by: echolaliaboon
Available File Types:Text
Words: 800