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Separation anxiety is something which will occur in almost all children at a young age. If may be hard to pinpoint when this has begun, as the transition from a needy newborn baby to one who never wants you to leave them for a moment can appear seamless. The change might be subtle, but it is there. As your baby begins to understand a little more about the world around them, they will notice more when you have gone from the room. This can be anything from you nipping to the bathroom, to setting off for your day’s work. All your child knows is that you have gone, and they have no idea of when you’ll be coming back. It’s hard to explain in terms of time, to a young child, just how long you’ll be gone, so the best thing to do is to use simple phrase like, I won’t be long, or, by the time you’ve eaten your lunch I’ll be back.

It can be hard for you as a parent to cope with this if your child is very upset every time you leave them, but you need to be consistent and remember that it’s usually a stage and won’t last forever.

Make sure you always say goodbye to your child, give them a hug and a kiss and some reassuring words about where you are going and when you’ll be back. Don’t be tempted to slip away when your child isn’t looking as this is likely to result in them becoming more upset when they realise what has happened, and besides, if this is something you’ll have to do regularly then you need to help them get used to it.

The first time you leave your child will be the hardest, for both you and the child, so it’s a good idea to do this as a practice run before the real thing. You can do this by going through the motions of leaving your child with a carer, saying goodbye and kissing them, but only staying out for half an hour or so. This is a good way to ease you and your child into the experience. Go for a walk or visit the shops and then come back when you feel enough time has passed. It’s more than likely that your child will have been fine and if they were upset to begin with, will have calmed down moments after you left.

In some cases separation anxiety will continue in older children, but it is important to carry on leaving them for short periods of time as this is something they have to get used to.

Don’t worry too much. They will grow out of it. If your child is still displaying this behaviour when school begins you can speak to your doctor if you feel you need help, but in most cases separation anxiety is a perfectly normal part of growing up for your child, and something that will pass with time.

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Written by: sampriestley
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