Summary:
Having a strong aversiont to the telephone is nothing new. Some love it, some hate it. But don´t let your latest and greatest relationship flounder simply because you can´t connect on the phone lines. Here are some tips for dealing with such a communication breakdown.

Details or Sample:
You met the most adorable guy last week and still can’t get over the fact that you’ve got a date lined up with him for next Saturday. He’s cute, funny and such a gentleman. The catch? You met him a week ago and he hasn’t called you once. Not wanting to be pushy or over-eager, you sit back and wait for his call…minute after excruciating minute.

Before you get yourself wound up in a tizzy when your new love interest doesn’t call, relax and consider all the factors playing into your relationship. How your new partner feels about you is not necessarily contingent on how often or how soon he dials your digits. Working from the ground up in a new relationship, you’ve got some ground to cover before you are both comfortable calling each other at all hours of the night. Ask yourself a few simple questions before you worry about the other’s feelings for you, and whatever you do, don’t base your perceptions about the relationship on how soon your phone rings!

How long have you known each other?
Many men and women embarking upon new relationships follow the unwritten rule of not calling the other person too soon for fear of rejection and for fear of seeming desperate. One would not want to seem anymore eager than he or she would like to seem disinterested. However, calling too soon or too often - and likewise, too delayed or less often - in a budding relationship can sometimes send the wrong vibe. Before going into panic mode, consider a few additional factors….

Where and when did you meet?
Have you gone on a true “first date” yet? If the answer is no, and the two of you met barside pushing 2 a.m. on a Friday or Saturday night, you may wish to reassess the situation and its worth. On the other hand, if you met within the past month, went on a first date a week ago and you haven’t heard anything recently, no rule dictates that you must wait for the other person to call you. If you have their phone number in your possession, put a call through and see when you can next plan to get together. Modern men seem to like when women take the initiative, and especially when they take a playfully aggressive stance in the relationship.

Did he request your digits, or did you instigate the transaction?
If your new guy seemed completely interested but did not make the move to ask for your phone number, it is possible that he’s a bit shy on the phone. If he did ask for your digits, you can bet he will call…eventually. Just give him time, wait and see, and if you don’t hear anything, realize it is his loss for not taking a chance.

Once you’ve narrowed things down to determine if he is the shy type, the Casanova type or the general all-around good guy, your anxiousness should subside a bit as you realize his phone call is not a life or death matter. If you do eventually discover that your new beau has a phone phobia, be understanding and help him by finding ways to keep in touch sans the tele.

To make things easier on you both and the relationship, try to utilize as many forms of communication as you can, except for the phone. Send emails, text messages, instant messages, cards and letters through the mail and plan to see each other when you can. As he becomes more comfortable with you, consider the following ideas, which should help him ease into a conversing mood…

1. Start out with very short, meaningful conversations. Try to save the in-depth, getting-to-know-you conversations for candlelit dinners, coffee dates and trips to the ice cream parlor. Even a short five or ten minute conversation is a good start. Find out how his day was, attempt to make plans and wish him a good night’s sleep. There’ll be plenty to talk about come morning.

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Written by: danceswithwords
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