Summary:
Some social situations need clear guidelines...none moreso than dating a trashy woman. This humor column lays out the ground rules for engaging in a relationship with one, and even explains why you would want to.

Details or Sample:
Throughout the ages, men have had many different opinions about
what is or is not an attractive woman; the kind of woman that makes you
bleat like a sheep in wolf´s clothing. The eighteenth and nineteenth
centuries´ ravishing beauty would be the twenty-first century´s "before"
model for Jenny Craig ads. And who can forget the "Let´s punch our own
personal hole in the ozone layer with our aerosol cans" ultra-big hair days of the 1980´s?

Different eras have always had different standards of beauty.
However, throughout time, there has been one constant in the never-ending
battle for truth, justice and the pursuit of cheap sex: men love trashy women.

With that statement, I have now polarized the reading audience into four factions: the guys who are saying "Hell, yeah!" the guys who are saying "I don´t know what you are referring to" (and are lying through their teeth because their non-trashy girlfriend/wife/shack-up is reading over their shoulder), the women who are saying "They want WHAT?" and the women who are saying "Darn straight, sugah."

This effect is just the flip side of the "woman are always attracted to jerks" philosophy, and there´s a simple reason for it. We, as human beings, always want what we´re told we can´t or shouldn´t have. The forbidden fruit is always the sweetest, at least until you catch a communicable disease from an overripe cherry (so to speak). Therefore, the less socially desirable a person is, the more we are attracted to them. (This effect is the direct cause of the success of Paris Hilton´s “career”, by the way.)

And this effect is not limited to just men. It is a female viewership that made a success of shows like Jenny Jones and Jerry Springer, despite the fact that they routinely have to hose the studios down with antibiotics after taping. Women secretly envy a woman who isn´t afraid to go against the pressures of a polite society and "let it all hang out", as it were.

And I mean that quite literally, too.

As a result, you should be aware that there are specific rules to
maintaining a relationship with a trashy woman. At this point, I´m sure that there are those among you that are asking yourselves if you are, indeed, dating a trashy woman. Trust me; if you have to ask, then you´re not.
The first things to remember is that dating a trashy woman is a lot like swimming in the ocean. It can be a very personally rewarding experience, there is no lifeguard, and you know that you´re sharing an experience with hundreds, maybe even thousands of others who were there before you and will be there after you´re gone. Therefore, don´t try to pressure your trashy woman into a serious, monogamous relationship; trashy women are like the ocean; they´re both there for everyone to enjoy.

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Downloads: 1
Written by: Dave Hughes
Available File Types:Text
Words: 758