Summary:
This blog recounts a day trip to France, involving a "souvenir" of a concealed flick-knife that perhaps should have stayed on the other side of the Channel.

Details or Sample:
In real life Edward Scissorhands would be the "baddest" boy on the block. He would probably also be in jail. But it’s great that a film involving lots and lots of very sharp knives is also so sweet. Johnny Depp manages to portray his knife-festooned character, a young man who just happens to have steel talons capable of scalping anyone who comes within two meters of his hands, as a much-misunderstood boy.

I once brought into the UK a flick-knife concealed in a ham sandwich. Not my idea. I was persuaded by a guy I met on a ferry coming from Calais to Dover. He bought my friend and me lots of cheap French wine, and I thought I was acting as a good representative of my school in agreeing his request. I also thought I would look cool and rebellious.

When I unwrapped the sandwich the following morning (once my mum had left the house), I wondered why I had worried about the knife so much on the coach going through customs. Even with all that wine inside me, during the transition from ferry to coach I had come close to throwing it away. And then once I was stuck listening to my teacher tell a group of us how the customs officials would be on board our coach soon searching every little nook and cranny, it was too late.

But looking at the knife that morning, squashed into bread and tinned meat, it looked a bit pathetic. It was more novelty than nasty. I wondered what it would be used for. I couldn’t connect this small piece of metal, food stuck in all its crevices, with any sort of violence.

I met its rightful owner in a burger bar a few days later. I handed over the knife, and he didn’t even buy me a can of Coca-Cola as a thank you! I regretted then having done it, and came to the conclusion, at the tender age of 16, that the baddest boys on the block might carry the knives, but unlike Edward Scissorhands, they’re not misunderstood. We all know they’re cowards.

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Written by: JD
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