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D.C. Talks
By Tammy Ruggles

Take it, leave it. Like it, lump it.

Whatever your opinion is of Washington, D.C.--whatever your politics, party, or platform, it is an undeniable fact that it is a living, breathing personality unto itself. Countless books, movies, columns, and puns have been made about this magnificent and magnanimous city:

You know what´s interesting about Washington? It´s the kind of place where second-guessing has become second nature.--George W. Bush.

In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn´t say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.--Milton Berle, comedian.

It is sometimes called the City of Magnificent Distances, but it might with greater propriety be termed the City of Magnificent Intentions.--Charles Dickens, American Notes.

I love to go to Washington, if only to be nearer my money.--Bob Hope.

History buffs probably noted the reunion at a Washington party a few weeks ago of three ex-presidents: Carter, Ford and Nixon - See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Evil.--Bob Dole.

There´s not a one of us who has lived for a long stretch of time in the capital, I believe, who has not experienced that awful moment of realization that a friend or acquaintance with some public responsibility is losing the gift of normal discourse. He will have begun to address us over a casual drink or at the supermarket as if he were orating at the United Nations.--Meg Greenfield.

For Washington politicians, food for thought should include more fiber. Jim Boren.

Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red lights. Many congressmen this week opposed the use of the red light cameras incorrectly assuming they were being used for surveillance at local brothels.--Dennis Miller, comedian, talk show host.

I have much faith in the American character, but I cannot believe either in Washington city or in the Washington monument. The boast made has been too loud, and the fulfillment yet accomplished has been too small!--Anthony Trollope.

Taken altogether, Washington as a city is most unsatisfactory, and falls more grievously short of the thing attempted than any other of the great undertakings of which I have seen anything in the United States.--Anthony Trollope

Were it not for the parks and monuments and great federal buildings that break up the monotony, downtown Washington would be a visual and architectural disaster.--Jonathan Yardley, States of Mind: A Personal Journey Through the Mid-Atlantic

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.--Dennis Miller, comedian, talk show host.

Some people think it´s terrible that Washington doesn´t work, but Mark thinks it´s wonderful, because if it worked, something might actually be accomplished and then we´d really be in bad shape.--Nora Ephron, Heartburn.

If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very, very low crime rate.-- M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC

Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.--John F. Kennedy.

From Washington, proverbially "the city of distances," through all its cities, states, and territories, it is a country of beginnings, of projects, of designs, and expectations.--Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Democrats will play the old Washington game of calling reductions in the rate of growth of spending for any program a ´cut´.--Bruce Bartlett

Every bureaucrat has a constitutional right to fuzzify, profundify and drivelate. It´s a part of our freedom of speech...If people can understand what is being said in Washington, they might want to take over their own government again.--Jim Boren.

Washington, D.C. is a city filled with people who believe they are important.--David Brinkley.

The 1976 Bicentennial is not going to be invented in Washington, printed in triplicate by the Government Printing Office and mailed to you by the United States Postal Service.--Richard Nixon.

Bad politicians are sent to Washington by good people who don´t vote.--William E. Simon.

Washington, where an insignificant individual may trespass on a nation´s time.--Ralph Waldo Emerson.

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.--Harry S. Truman.

Washington is a place where politicians don´t know which way is up and taxes don´t know which way is down.--Robert Orben.

The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don´t want their team to be associated with crime. From now on, they´ll just be known as the Bullets.--Jay Leno.

Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.--Fred Allen.

The more I observed Washington, the more frequently I visited it, and the more people I interviewed there, the more I understood how prophetic L´Enfant was when he laid it out as a city that goes around in circles.--John Mason Brown.

In Washington it is an honor to be disgraced. you have to have been somebody to fall.--Meg Greenfield.

People come to Washington believing it´s the center of power. I know I did. It was only much later that I learned that Washington is a steering wheel that´s not connected to the engine.--Richard Goodwin.

I´m sorry that we have to have a Washington presence. We thrived during our first 16 years without any of this. I never made a political visit to Washington and we had no people here. It wasn´t on our radar screen. We were just making great software.--Bill Gates.

President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said today he thinks it is important for a president to spend time away from Washington. Or at least that´s what Dick Cheney told him.--Jay Leno.

If Washington were a circus, as some like to think it is, the Washington Post would be the ringmaster.--Phil Gailey.

I remember when I first came to Washington. For the first six months you wonder how the hell you ever got here. For the next six months you wonder how the hell the rest of them ever got here.--Harry S. Truman.

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Written by: Tammy Ruggles
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